TSED; chapter 15

“Hang Hang!” After entering through the door, Zhang Qiming hugged Zhang Hang so tightly that the boy could feel it in his bones.

Zhang Hang’s hands stiffened by his sides. After a while, he hesitantly put them on Zhang Qiming and indulged himself in the long-lost hug.

Off to one side, Lu Chengye bared his teeth but did not bark. Instead, he lay down at Zhang Hang’s feet and stared steadily at Zhang Qiming. He still remembered what that man had done when he found out Zhang Hang wasn’t his biological son. He’d abandoned Zhang Hang alone at the hospital. However, Zhang Qiming had gone back to pick him up, and was also willing to pay child support despite lack of a blood relationship. Lu Chengye’s feelings about Zhang Qiming were very complex, and it was likely that Zhang Qiming’s were as well. The man simply didn’t know how to deal with Zhang Hang.

After calming down, Zhang Qiming looked at Zhang Hang’s beautiful eyes, and reached out a hand. He shook it in front of the boy’s eyes, but Zhang Hang didn’t respond.

“Hang Hang, your eyes…” Zhang Qiming said in a trembling voice.

Zhang Hang nodded silently.

“When did this happen?” Zhang Qiming’s heartache wasn’t an act. He loved this child who he had raised from birth.

“I couldn’t see clearly at night since I was in high school, but I thought I was nearsighted and didn’t pay attention to it. Later… I went to the hospital to check them before the Spring Festival last year,” Zhang Hang said softly. “It’s retinitis pigmentosa. “The doctor said it couldn’t be cured. The other day, I suddenly couldn’t see.”

Zhang Qiming knew the hidden meaning behind his words. Last New Year, wasn’t that around the time he had divorced Zhao Xiaolian and discovered that Zhang Hang wasn’t his biological son? The child had gone to the hospital during that time, and had already known he would be blind? How did he get through it? How much despair had he felt as his vision slowly deteriorated?

Zhang Qiming’s hand was shaking. He couldn’t imagine how much pain Zhang Hang was in at that time. The child he had always loved had been suffering in silence, and he hadn’t noticed it at all.

“Did Xiao Ren tell you I was here?” Zhang Hang asked.

“A middle-aged policeman at the police station told me that your mother sold her house and abandoned you. He let me know that you were living with a policeman and told me the address.”

Zhang Hang nodded, he could understand the captain’s actions. If you were 18 years old it was okay to be by yourself, but he was still underage, and couldn’t decide anything without a guardian. When his mother left, it was inevitable that the police would end up contacting his father. Although Xiao Ren was happy to take him in out of his own will and to uphold his duty as a police officer, it was still necessary for the captain to inform his family of his affairs.

“Hang Hang… are you still attending school?” Zhang Qiming asked carefully.

“Up until the end of my first year of high school, my grades were terrible.” Zhang Hang shook his head with a wry smile. “After summer vacation, I was completely blind. I plan to drop out of school during the second half of the year.”

Zhang Hang obviously couldn’t see it, but Zhang Qiming still wiped his eyes to not let Zhang Hang see his tears. He took Zhang Hang’s hand and said, “I’ll take you to contact the School for the Blind. You can go to school and take the college entrance exam again, and learn anything you want! Hang Hang, come home with me, let Dad raise you! Not only graduating college, Dad wants you to find a job and marry someone who could take care of you!”

A warm feeling flowed through Zhang Hang’s heart. Lu Chengye slowly approached Zhang Qiming, willing to reward him for his kindness. Although he didn’t want to, in order to ensure that his Hang Hang had proper care, he would please Zhang Qiming.

Zhang Qiming was not an impulsive man. In fact, the captain had contacted him yesterday. Hearing that Zhao Xiaolian had abandoned the blind Zhang Hang, and how the boy had been homeless and led to the police station by a dog, he was so distressed that he couldn’t fall asleep the entire night. During this sleepless night, Zhang Qiming cleared up his feelings for Zhang Hang. They had cared for each other for 15 years. Since Zhao Xiaolian had become pregnant, Zhang Qiming had been looking forward to the coming of the child, and he had been fighting for Zhang Hang since. Even if they had no blood ties, his feelings still remained. Zhang Qiming had gotten so worked up that he wished he could take on Zhang Hang’s blindness so his child wouldn’t suffer. He was sure of his decision, and rushed over to take Zhang Hang home.

However, Zhang Hang was much calmer than his father.

“Dad, are you not going to remarry? If you take me in, it’ll be harder to find a wife.”

“This… Recently, your grandmother has been fervently trying to convince me to let her make introductions, but I am not in the mood for it.” Zhang Qiming shook his head. He had just come out of a failed marriage, and it would take time before he could summon enough courage to build a new relationship.

“But you’ll always look for one,” Zhang Hang said, “Because after all, I’m not your son. You will want to remarry and have a child of your own, right?”

When he had said “not your son”, his voice was shaking. Zhang Hang was upset about all the things Zhang Qiming had done in his rage, but he was more sad than angry. He still wanted to be Zhang Qiming’s son. If he could, that would be great. Even if his dad had gone too far in his anger, Zhang Hang could forgive and forget. By now, however, this couldn’t be solved with forgiveness. There was an insurmountable gap between him and Zhang Qiming.

“What does remarrying have to do with taking care of you?!” Zhang Qiming had realized what Zhang Hang meant, and his voice became louder.

“It does,” Zhang Hang shook his head. “You know that.”

“Then I won’t have another child!” Zhang Qiming said with emotion. “It’s enough to have you as a son. If I had another, they may not be as obedient as you anyway.”

Zhang Hang still shook his head and said, “Dad, if my eyes were good, I’d go back with you, be your son, and provide for you. You would remarry, and provide me with a brother and sister. I’d help you take care of them, but there would be no real blood relationship between me and any of you. As I am now, I’d just drag you down.”

“I’m willing to be dragged down by you! So what if a father is dragged down by his son for his entire life?!” Zhang Qiming roared, much louder than when he had quarreled with Zhao Xiaolian. However, this time, Zhang Hang was not afraid, and gently shook his head.

If he was an ordinary high school student, he would want to be willful once again. But now, everything was different. During that half a year, Zhang Hang had experienced the world’s warmth and cruelty. He knew very well that if he went back with Zhang Qiming, sooner or later, their father-son relationship would disappear completely.

Zhang Qiming would be dragged down by him day after day, year after year. His grandmother and grandfather would not agree to their son being single. They would force Zhang Qiming, who was not yet forty, to eventually remarry. His new wife would also harass Zhang Hang, and life’s troubles would wipe out any feelings between father and son. It was better to simply miss each other than to follow Zhang Qiming. He would be okay living alone.

At least Big Black wouldn’t abandon him, this burden.

The conversation lasted until Xiao Ren came home with lunch. Zhang Qiming thanked Xiao Ren and left unhappily. After he had left, Zhang Hang sat at the dining table and held his chopsticks above the box lunch, but didn’t eat.

“Hey,” Xiao Ren called. “Eat first, then think.”

“Woof!” Lu Chengye’s feelings were in line with Xiao Ren’s. How could they not eat!

According to Lu Chengye, even if he had to be shameless, Zhang Hang must rely on Zhang Qiming to learn life skills so that he could support himself. However, Zhang Hang kept thinking about Zhang Qiming. While he was considerate of others, Zhang Hang had a backbone. His confidence had been trampled once by Zhao Xiaolian, and he didn’t want to go back to his father just to end up trampled again.

That night, Xiao Ren was on night shift. Without the sound of the keyboard, Zhang Hang couldn’t sleep. He lay on the bed with his hands by the edge, and his eyes blinked in the dark, but they were unwilling to stay closed. Lu Chengye looked up slightly and put his head in Zhang Hang’s palm to let him know he wasn’t alone.

“Big Black,” Zhang Hang said, “I know this isn’t working.. As a blind man, it’s really troublesome for me to continue living with Xiao Ren. If it was simple joint rent, it would be okay, but brother Xiao takes care of us too much. I’m afraid that he’ll go on doing this. He uses the rent to treat us both to dinner, and even his salary is used up.”

“Woof!” Lu Chengye didn’t know how to answer. He just called out habitually.

“But, I can’t go home with dad. I don’t mean to stubbornly refuse to recognize him as my father. He will always be my father, but I don’t want to go live with him just to be kicked out again.” Zhang Hang spoke softly, but his tone was a little sad.

Who didn’t want to be cared for by family during such tough times? Of course Zhang Hang wanted to go back to his warm home, but because of the lack of blood relationship, he didn’t dare. Zhang Qiming may be able to care for a blind child and love him, but others wouldn’t. People didn’t live alone, and everyone had a family.

“Woof!” Then just take his child support. Zhao Xiaolian ran away anyway. Zhang Qiming can give you the money directly and take care of you. I can also take care of you. Lu Chengye believed that he could take good care of Zhang Hang. Some blind people could live by themselves if they had a guide dog, not to mention that Lu Chengye was much smarter than any guide dog out there.

Zhang Hang wasn’t worried for nothing. Over the next few days, Zhang Qiming would come over every day to persuade Zhang Hang to come home with him. About a week later, instead of Zhang Qiming, it was his mother who came.

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